Monday, June 1, 2009

Shake the Glitter off your Clothes

Hey guys.
Sorry I've been M.I.A. the past few days - I finally got Jam Sessions in the mail, and let me tell you it is addicting. I'm actually getting pretty good! I have a repertoire of around 26 songs!! Yay me.

However, to apologize for a missed week of blogs, today's post it what I'm going to start referring to as a "WTF" post. Sorta like my "monuments of disappointment" blog, but... stranger.

...yeah, I wouldn't be with you either.
So, #1 strange thing is the new music video by Rich Girl, an apparent Danity Kane knockoff. This video... I... I honestly wish there were words. Maybe there's just so many that I can't narrow it down. It's honestly a complete trainwreck. I've never seen anything so bad in my life. I mean, this is just... this is just awful. I mean... maybe rework the backbeat a little, and give the vocals a bit more of a range and the song could have a chance. The video... take it out back and shoot it. The "song" is called He Ain't With Me Now (Tho).

I want you to imagine the Backstreet Boys. Now, imagine they're all Robert Pattinson. No, not hot Robert Pattinson from Harry Potter, but scrawny, baked biter Robert Pattinson.
You've got V Factory.
But really though.... what the f#%&*? I... I can't even believe someone thought "hey, this is an awesome idea." This song/video is just.... buh.

She tango'd her way back into our hearts...
Lil' Kim is synonymous with Train Wreck at this point - it's no secret. She just got finished with Dancing with the Stars - so what's next for this talentless washup musical genius? No, I'm not being fair... all sarcasm aside, I really like Lil' Kim. It's just... well... she's the butt of a lot of my jokes. I definitely know all the words to her verse in Lady Marmalade. I have never listened to a song of hers before, but this one is something else. For starters, the track is technically Lil' Kim feat. T-Pain and Charlie Wilson... but not only is T-Pain uncomfortably absent in the video, but on mtV his name wasn't even listed in the credits - actually, neither was Charlie Wilson's. Derek Hough appears in the video though, but it's awkward since he's the only white person. Not only that, he's a white person that normally does ballroom dancing in glittery spandex, so he's really out of place.

I really don't understand what the music video world is coming to. I mean, I remember when making a music video was a huge, huge deal. Now, big stars get awkward crappy videos and small, awkward vampire boy bands get awesome videos for crappy music. And for all those that think that media doesn't tell us what to like or who to be, I got three words for you: The Jonas Brothers.

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