Sunday, May 24, 2009

Monuments of Disappointment

Two big singles were just released and quite honestly, I'm unimpressed. Disappointed, if you will.

You're gonna make a rabbit appear from

Ciara and Justin Timberlake, two dance-pop powerhouses, just put out a single and music video for Love Sex Magic.
I am more than disappointed.
Does anyone else remember Justin's My Love video? Amazing choreography. Did you see Ciara's Get Up video? The dancing in that was just stellar. Why, oh why, have the two of you forsaken this? I mean let's be honest. I've never heard Ciara hit even one powerful note. I'm not sure she can sing. She's hot and she can dance... but she's just kinda falsettoing to a tune. Justin, yeah he can sing, but he mostly does that whiny falsetto stuff too. Honestly, the two of these guys are known for their amazing dance abilities.
So when I first heard they did a song together, I was on that. I knew it was going to be a club anthem.
...well, okay, that's not quite what happened. The song kinda bites. But the video! The video is gonna be banging, right?
...well, now we know that Ciara could have a career in stripping... or once did. I dunno. Whatever it is, it's not hot.
Justin barely even moved this whole video. There was nothing. No dance, no choreography, no... nothing. I'm just disappointed. I'm more disappointed than your ex girlfriend that one time you... no, I promised her I'd never mention that. Well anyway, I'm really disappointed with this video, this song, this everything. The worst part is that it appears that there was supposed to be a whole choreographed routine on the stage with Ciara and some backups, but only brief seconds of it are shown, the rest of the choreography lost in favor of Ciara's ass rubbing on poles, walls, and Justin Timberlakes.

But you can always decide for yourself.

No one's shot him yet? Really? They shot Fifty 9 times, but no one's shot this guy?

Before I start this, let's just say it now - I've never liked Eminem. When he first started out, all I listened to was Jewel and Michelle Branch, so I definitely wasn't about him then. When my music tastes started to mature... I still didn't like Eminem's "music". Long story short, I'm not going to be careful how I talk about him here, because I don't want people to think I'm just biased. If I had liked Em before, I wouldn't now. He's really become a two-trick pony at this point. All of his singles are either making fun of celebrities or a hard rap ballad of how hard it was growing up a white boy in the hood. His new single, We Made You, is no different. Once again, he makes fun of celebrities such as Jessica Simpson and Sarah Palin. He's clearly compensating for something. I'll bet he was that kid on the playground who constantly got beat up, and cuz he was so scrawny he had to learn to fight with his words. This new video for We Made You is no different than any of the other singles he's put out. I'm just unimpressed. Lose Yourself was the closest I've ever been to liking one of his songs (though I didn't mind his verse in Smack That by Akon.)
Sorry Em, but I'm not going to help make you.

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